Carnage Update:
At least she picked a nice spot to stop.
Removed the heads to inspect the damage.
Passenger side
Drivers side
Good news is no scaring on the cylinder walls and pistons can be polished in place. All the valves are bent and the heads will be replaced since it's cheaper than rebuilding the old ones. The bolt that holds the cam tensioner pully to the block sheared off. I changed the timing belt 4k miles ago, but my kit from ECS Tuning did not come with the bolt. Nothing in the service manual says to replace the bolt, but some kits do come with it. The dealership has never seen one fail before, but obviously it would have only helped my chances had I replaced it. Needless to say, I'd recommend replacing your hardware.
You can see the bolt still in the block next to the tensioner.

Here's the remaining bit in the pulley.
I'm hunting for parts at the moment, but a plan is in the works to rebuild her. I'll let you guys know when I have it all figured out.